that retard life!

today, i woke up thinking of you and wondering why i let you go
and you didnt come back to me,
i wish i was in ur arms, i wish i was with you, i wish you could
love me and i wonder why you dont,
i think bout dying i think of you when im crying, i cried for
you yesterday
im crying for you today i will cry for you tomorrow
i guess ur everything i need to have, i guess ur all i ever wanted,
i guess im gonna die loving you, coz i already live loving you
and it doesnt stop,
its not just a crush, its not just a guy, its not just a summer love,
its more than that, its everything to me,
i would kill for you, i would die for you, i would do anything anything ANYTHING for you,
i would do anything to have you, and im dying for you,
i gave you my heart, and you broke it
i told you my feelings and you laughed at it,
i gave you my life and u fucked it
i lost my friends coz of you
i changed the way i dress for you
i changed the way i am for you
i cant even go to the park with my dog anymore coz when i go there the only thing in my mind
is you, and everything you did, and how many times i cried!
you have no idea how many times i cried!
you have no idea how many times i said i was gonna die!
you have no idea how much i want to die!
you have no idea why i love you,
but i do, you're everything to me!
i just wish i was everything to you, i wish you even liked me,
now my best friend is my ipod,
my clothes are black,
my ''friends'' dont talk to me!
i dont sleep!
i dont talk!
i dont have friends!
i dont have a life!
CUZ I GAVE IT TO YOU, AND I FELL FOR YOU!
AND YOU, YOU DIDNT CARE! YOU IGNORED!
YOU TOLD ME TO FUCK OFF!
YOU TOLD ME I WAS ANNOYING!
YOU TOLD ME I WAS A STALKER!
YOU TOLD ME I WAS STUPID!
YOU TOLD ME I SHOULD DIE!
YOU TOLD ME I WAS IMMATURE!
YOU TOLD ME I WAS BULLSHIT!
YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED SOMEONE ELSE!
YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER LIKE ME!
YOU TOLD ME HOW BAD HOW STUPID HOW USELESS HOW ANNOYING HOW IMMATURE HOW UGLY AND EVERYTHING
YOU JUST WANT ME TO DIE!
YOU WANT THE PERSON WHO MOST LOVE YOU IN THE WHOLE WORLD TO DIE!
AND YOU DO, FOR NO REASON BUT YOU DO!
YOU CANT UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING I HAD TO DO FOR YOU
YOU CANT UNDERSTAND HOW SAD IM
AND I BLAME IT ON YOU!
I BLAME IT ON YOU, COZ YOU'RE PERFECT!
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ UR ALL I EVER WANTED!
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ UR CUTE
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ UR FUNNY
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ UR NICE
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ U FORGOT ME
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ ALWAYS WHEN I LISTEN TO BEST I EVER HAD I WANT TO DIE!
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ YOU MADE ME HAPPY AND YOU COULD MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON EVER!
I BLAME IT ON YOU COZ THE ONLY PERSON I COULD EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH IS YOU!!
YOU! YOU! AND YOU!
UR THE ONLY ONE!
UR THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE ME HAPPY!
BUT YOU DONT WANT TO!
YOU WANT TO MAKE ME REAL SAD!
I KNOW IT, I KNOW THAT IM NOT THE BEST FOR YOU,
I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN ME,
AND I KNOW THAT UR NEVER GONNA LOVE ME.
But the other thing i know is that i will always love you, and you're the
only guy i could ever die for, i could give my life for, i could kill for,
i could cry for, i could do anything for.
Just telling you, how much i need you.
I'm so sorry, im so so so sorry for meeting you and loving you,
umm i hope i get over it, but i know i cant, coz ur everything !
YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME! OK, EVERYTHING. I REALLY MEAN IT!
today i was at my mums friends house, and there was a guy who was smelling really good.. and yea im weird and
talk bout ppls smell lol and like he smelt like u do, it was weird, and in the same moment when that guy came
i was listening to best i ever had, just to fuck it more you know
then, i told my mum i wanted to go home coz i couldnt stay there
coz i couldnt do anything
and i did it coz i couldnt stop thinking of you when that guy was next to me
i dont know what to do anymore, i really dont
i pretty much think the only thing i can do to forget you is die.
and maybe, im gonna die, coz the way i told you i would always love you and i do,
i am telling you i would die for you and i will,
its like the only thing i can do right now! its the only thing that matters to me!
its you!
its you!
i love you
i love the way you talk and you know it
i love the way you act and you know it
i love the way you are and you know it
i love your hair and you know it
i love your smell and you know it lol
i loved when you used to texted me each 5 minutes and i used to text you the whole day
i loved when i met you
i loved when i told you i loved you
i loved you when we went to the park that day and i told you to yell penis if you loved me and you did lol
and then after all that, my best friend amy hated me, she hated me coz she knew you were everything to me,
and now im crying, and now im dying, and now im wondering why cant you love me :(
i seriously cant do anything anymore, i just cant, i go to my friends house and i talk about you.
i dont sleep anymore
i dont talk anymore
and when i talk its about you
when i cry its for you
when die its for you
when i think im thinking of you
when i go out with someone i just wish SO MUCH you were that person!
when i tell some guy i love him, i dont.
everyday when i wake up,
i say '' today im gonna stop loving him, today i hate him and today im not gonna try to talk to him! ''
when i say that, im lying to myself,
when i say something bad about you
im lying to myself
when i say i love you its the biggest truth ever,
when i say ur everything to me im not lying, you are.
you are everything i need
you are everything i love
you are everything i always wanted
but i cant have it,
i really changed like REALLY DID
im not funny as i used to be
i dont dress like i used to dress coz i know you dont like it
my hair looks like emo,
my mum said i have to eat, but i dont, and when i do i want to vomit
my friends said i have a problem, its not just a problem its an obssesion!
and its you,
why do i love you?
why are you everything?
why are you so cute?
and why are you so perfect?
and why cant you love me like other people do?
well, i know why i guess..
coz for you im stupid
coz for you im useless
coz for you im bullshit
coz for you im immature
coz for you im nothing
coz for you im not even a good friend
coz for you im ugly
and coz for you, im not enough.


im not even gonna send this to you, coz i know you wont read it, and i know you're never gonna know how much i love you and
like, im trying to stop crying, im trying to stop dying, im trying to eat, im trying to forget you,
im trying to make new friends, im trying to sleep, im trying to be the way i used to be, the problem is that i cant. :(
ok, i think its all i wanted to say.