that retard life!

i dont know what to write anymore, like omgggg i keep writting about
him but i dont want to and i dont
mean to :(
like, its weird how much i love him, sometimes i get crazy,
sometimes i cry and it makes me sad it makes me feel bad you know..
its like, he doesnt care at all, he acts like i dont mean anything and
i actually dont mean anything to himmm :(
i think he hates me,
but he doesnt have reasons to!
he doesnt need to make me feel bad just because he is feeling bad.
i cant sleep i cant just live my life again!
i cant have my friends back
and i have no idea how i left my friends just because of a guy!
I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO ME
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY BUT I KNOW HE MEANS MORE THAN
ANYTHING
i know he is not mine but i know he needs to be!
its like that! he needs to be mine and he needs to love me!
thats why we were born, to love eachother........... ):
please YOU love me!
i beg you
i do anything you want
i already did anything to have you but u didnt want me!
whats wrong with me aye
i dont know.. i really dont know whats wrong with me,..
i just know that im annoying for you
im ugly for you
im not enough for you
im stupid for you
im useless for you
im everything as bad as it can be for you!
why cant you see me? why cant you just love me backkkkk, thats all i ever wanted, to see you smilling and
looking at me and saying '' i love you '' and i would know you
mean it!
but you cant, you wont, and you dont want to .
you dont love me for some reason
im not ugly, there is millions of people out there uglier than me!
im not annoying, there is lots of people who say im not!
im not perfect, i know im not, no one is perfect but please dont be
perfectionist
I LOVE YOU.
PLEASE LOVE ME
please please please!
boy please be mine!
just please give me a hug
just please give me your loveeeeeeeee,
thats all i want,
i want your love and i want it now
i wanna love you i wanna kiss you i wanna hug you i wanna touch you
anything for you
whenever
wherever
however........................
im feeling sad inside now,
its your fault and please talk to me
please dont ignore me,
last week i had a fight with my mum and i went running to the
bathroom and i really was gonna cut myself
so my mum just went inside and started yelling at me
it sucks that i know i didnt want to die because of my fights with
my mum
i wanted to die because.......... because........ i just.. i dont know
maybe god just said '' you need to love him, but he doesnt
love
you and you will die for it '' ????
well i dont think god would do that
maybe god said '' you will love him, he wont love you but one
day he will notice how important you are and he will
ask everyday himself why he didnt love you when you loved him ''
well.. i would like god to say that aye
but i dont think he did
i dont know ok im confused im sad im afraid and im afraid of love, i
notice that love can do anything, it changes ANYTHING
it makes u sad and makes u happy, it makes you shy it makes you
cry, it makes you smile and it stays for a while.
i wanna see you, just seeing you would make me
happpppppy. :(
i dont know what to do, gosh, please god help me! i dont wanna cry
i dont wanna feel sad anymore!
PLEASE MAKE HIM LIKE ME, GOD PLEEEEEEASE MAKE
HIM NOTICE THAT IM THE ONE FOR HIM!
MAKE HIM THINK ABOUT ME THE WHOLE NIGHT TODAY
AND MAKE HIM LOVE ME !
MAKE HIM CRAZY ABOUT ME
PLEEEEASE MAKE HIM LOVE ME
I NEED HIM TO BE MINE
OR I CAN EVEN DIE.
i wasnt eating sometime ago, now i cant stop eating.
my mum said im suicidle and i said no im not
and she said yes you are and you're
depressed and i was like wth?
and she said that im getting depressed and
she doesnt know why but she noticed it.
im scared, god, im really sad, because i feel
like i wanna die and i dont want to,
i dont know, its confusing
sometimes im happy but then i think about him and everything
goes sad,
everything gets mad
everything sucks.
i need help, i need help from my friends, my parents, everything
because i know im getting sick im getting sick of my sadness
im getting sick of being sick
i dont wanna LOVE!
I REALLY WANT TO STOP LOVING!
LOVING MAKES ME SICK!
IT MAKES ME EAT MUCH
AND SOMETIMES MAKES ME STAY WITHOUT EATING FOR
DAYS
I CAN DIE
I CAN CRY
I CAN TRY
AND IT WONT WORK!
listening to sad music and thinking about him i do all the time!
its not normal, its REALLY bad, pleeeeease
help me pleaaaaasseeee
make him look at me and say '' i think i love her ''
make him fall for me!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
PLEASE
ill do anything for it
ill never yell at anyone !
ill never have fights with my mum
ill be perfect at school
i wont do anything wrong
i wont lie i wont cry
i just want him to be mine
please make my wish be true
please make him mine
its all i want
and if u make him mine ill be the happiest girl ever
ill be like seriously REALLY happy,
you dont know how much i love him its crazy its stupid its weird its
DIFFERENT.
its not a crush, its not a summer love, its not love, its like when
you can do anything for someone
and its true
i MEAN IT
i really mean it
like, you know when you feel sad for no
reason and then you start
crying and still think its for no reason
but then your heart beats and says someones name?
then you get like ooooh i think thats why im crying, im crying
because of him.
i want to be perfect i think, maybe if im perfect he will like me :(
you and me make everything perfect, pleeeeeeeease BE MINE,
ill die for you
if you want me to.
i can do anything for you
and i mean it
its everything for me
everything for me is you
and you are everything,
i bet i love you more than your mum does haha
i love you more than
anything :(
its not funny, its not to make anyone laugh reading this, its really serious, its bad really bad its like
when you want to die.
i cant change my love for you, i cant just say '' i dont love him
anymore '' because I DO!
and i said i wouldnt like you anymore more than
120000000000000 million times and it didnt work.
i never thought i would love,
i never thought i would know what love meant,
but now i do, and its weird, because its a feeling
that can change
anything you know,
its like when someone means everything to you,
and that person sometimes loves you but this love is not
big its not enough to you,
its sad when you love, to me its like dying, loving is a
different way of saying dying,
why am i in tears? i just need you here
i just need your love more than anything,
words cant describe everything i feel and felt for you
its like the BIGGEST LOVE ever.
its! seriously you mean anything to me
if someone asked me what i most loved in the whole world
i would say '' my parents of course '' but i actually
would say your name, if i could, if i wasnt embarrassed to say it.
god, what do i do??????
please tell me what to do!
please change his mind
HE LOVES ME
HE WILL LOVE ME TOMORROW
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT TO FOREVER
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS
HE WILL LOVE ME FROM TONIGHT FOR ALWAYS