i have been lying to myself all the time i guess.
i was just wondering right now what's so wrong about me?
because..
i have been loving someone for 5 months and now i just noticed that all the time, it was just bullshit in my head!
nothing about it was true.
he had nothing good about him.
he wasnt the best ever.
he wasnt nice to me and i know that.
he wasnt even smart and IT COUNTS ok.
no dude, i mean like....
i think i have an 'obsession problem'
you know like haha shit i think im making that up but no its actually true.
when i cant have someone, i do anything to have them;
and if i still cant have them,
i cry i nearly die and i tell everyone im depressed.
yeah well thats really stupid but it's true though.
but when i can have someone;
i just DONT GIVE A SHIT about them.
and it's mean.
stupid.
immature.
grrrrr.
but it's TRUE and i know it..
because when i could have chris i was just not caring much at all about him but when he just left me i got so depressed; well i mean.. i missed him.
i cried everyday LITTTTTERRALLY EVERY FUCKING DAY.
and then once i got him back;
but i broke up with him HAHAHA ;L;
because im stupid. that's why..
cause then after breaking up with him he just;
didnt give a shit about me anymore,
he probs was disappointed about me ay.
and then what did i do?
i kept crying AGAIN.
i just turned emo *seriously dude it was weird.*
i DIED.
and then i went out with blake; (L);
and i actually liked blake.
i did.. i really did.
but i couldnt take it because it's just ..
i dont know.
when i was going out with blake i was having LOTS. of problems and seriously it was bad and i kept crying everyday but i couldnt tell him and then i kept getting sad and sad and he was like oh what happened and i didn't want to tell him i was like '' dw its all good '' and then i just told him i didnt want to go out with him.
but geez, he is perfect.
he is the only guy i can go out with and i know that.
i even wanted to marry him SERIOUSLY I DID. HAHA
but like, while i was LOVING blake I was LOVING chris and chris was the one who didnt give a shit about me so me the stupid bitch here just broke up with blake because he was too easy for me.
and then yerr... but now its just ALL THE OBSESSION THINGY coming again.. like,
blake he is just not being my friend.
when i talk to him he ignores me its just really annoying because i WANT ATTENTION and he doesnt give a fuck.
and while he doesnt give a fuck it makes me like him more.
and more.
and more.
and more.
but i dont want it to get bigger as it was with chris,
but he does the same stuff as chris used to do!
its making me scared though because i know he is good really good arrrrrrgh shit
RESUMING EVERYTHING I JUST SAID;
i want what i cant have, when i have it i just give it away, but then i cant have it again, and i cry and cry and i still cant have it'; then i die and the story ends thank you i need to grow up.
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